What is a spiritual father in the Orthodox Church?
A spiritual father is the person to whom a Christian turns for ongoing guidance in the inner life: how to pray, how to struggle with a particular sin, how to read Scripture, and sometimes how to weigh a major decision. In most parishes this person is the confessor, the priest to whom one regularly confesses, though the two roles are not identical. Confession is a sacrament that only a priest can administer. Spiritual guidance is a relationship that needs experience, patience and trust, and it can in principle come from a wise monk, nun or lay person as well, provided it does not replace the sacrament.
St Paul uses the language of fatherhood about his own care for the Corinthians, writing that he became their father in Christ Jesus through the Gospel (1 Corinthians 4:15 listen in the Audio Bible). The Epistle to the Hebrews asks Christians to obey and yield to their leaders, who keep watch over souls and will give account (Hebrews 13:17 listen in the Audio Bible). The Ethiopian official reading Isaiah answered Philip that he could not understand without someone to guide him (Acts 8:31 listen in the Audio Bible). Behind these texts lies a simple principle: a person left entirely to his own judgment is a poor judge of his own soul. For the sacramental side, see Why confess your sins to a priest?
What is a starets, or elder?
The Russian word starets (plural startsy) means an old man, and in Church use it describes a monk, usually a priest-monk, who has gained such spiritual experience that others seek his counsel. In Greek the equivalent is geron, and for a woman the Russian is staritsa and the Greek gerontissa. The title belongs to a function, not to age or rank. A young monk is not an elder merely because he has been given authority, and a person is called an elder by the faithful who have found that his advice bears fruit, not because of an appointment.
The Church does not formally ordain elders or hold an examination for the title. The tradition holds that the gift is recognised over time by humility, peace, discretion and love, and that an elder who claims the title for himself is doing the opposite of what an elder should do. The Book of Proverbs says in the Septuagint tradition that those without guidance fall like leaves, while there is safety in much counsel (Proverbs 11:14 listen in the Audio Bible). For a related topic, see What is obedience in an Orthodox monastery?
Where does the tradition of elders come from?
The tradition begins with the Desert Fathers of Egypt, Palestine and Syria in the fourth century and after. People travelled to desert monks such as St Anthony the Great and asked, in effect, for a word that would help them live. The sayings that were remembered, collected in the Sayings of the Desert Fathers, are short and practical, and focus on humility, silence and refusing to judge. The same pattern, a disciple placing himself under a seasoned guide, runs through St John Climacus's Ladder of Divine Ascent, a sixth-century manual that treats obedience in Step 4 and discernment in Step 26.
In Russia the elder's ministry flowered in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. St Seraphim of Sarov (1754-1833) received crowds at his hermitage after many years in solitude, and he is remembered for greeting people with the words "My joy". Optina Pustyn, a monastery south of Moscow, became a house of elders, among them St Macarius (1788-1860) and St Ambrose (1812-1891), to whom ordinary peasants and famous writers alike came for advice. The Church's calendar lists the feasts of such saints through the year.
A modern example: Archimandrite John (Krestiankin)
Archimandrite John (Krestiankin) was born in Oryol in 1910 and died on 5 February 2006, at the age of 95. He was arrested in 1950 for his pastoral work and sentenced to seven years in labour camps, and he was later associated with the Pskov-Caves Monastery, where many people came to him for confession and counsel. In 2021 the Pskov diocese announced the start of the process leading to his canonisation, which shows the Church's careful, slow approach to such recognition, but it is not yet a glorification.
A great deal of his guidance reached people through letters, many of which have since been published and translated. They are plain and short, and they speak mainly about patience, repentance, trust in God and ordinary duties. Readers often notice what is missing: no prophecies, no dramatic commands, no secret techniques. This is a good illustration of the point that the elder's charisma is sober. For the monastery itself, see Pskov-Caves Monastery, one of the best-known Orthodox centres of spiritual fatherhood in Russia.
What an elder is not
An elder is not a fortune-teller. Some elders are reported by those around them to have had insight into people's hearts, and the Church receives such reports cautiously, as the testimony of witnesses and never as a guarantee. A person who goes to an elder expecting a prediction about marriage, money or health is using him as an oracle, and the tradition regards this as a spiritual danger and not a service. The Lord's warning against seeking honorific titles among His disciples (Matthew 23:8-10 listen in the Audio Bible) is a reminder that a guide must never take the place of Christ.
An elder is also not infallible. He can be mistaken in judgment, and the Church's teaching, the Gospel and the canons stand above his advice. If any guide asks you to do something against the commandments, to cut off your family, to abandon your medical care, to hand over money you cannot spare, or to hide something from your confessor or bishop, the answer is no, and it is wise to consult your parish priest. Orthodox writers on this subject often cite the Apostle's counsel to test everything and hold fast what is good. See What is prelest? and Discernment of spirits for the wider background.
How do I choose a spiritual father or confessor?
For most people the answer is simpler than they expect: begin with the priest of your own parish. He knows the community, he is under a bishop, and he can give the sacrament as well as advice. Many pastors recommend that a person not search for the most famous elder in the country, and that he not change confessors every few months in pursuit of an easier answer. Trust grows slowly, and the habit of repentance is built through regularity, not novelty.
A few practical signs are worth watching for. A good guide is sober and gentle, and he points you toward the Church, the sacraments and your own family and duties, not toward himself. He does not demand blind obedience from lay people, since the total obedience of a monastery belongs to a monastic vow. He is prepared to say that he does not know. If you are in doubt, ask your priest. If you feel unable to talk to the priest, you may ask for the name of another confessor with his blessing. On matters of health or the law, seek qualified help, because a spiritual father is not a replacement for a doctor or a lawyer.
How does spiritual guidance relate to the parish and the Church?
Spiritual fatherhood never stands outside the Church. The elder is a member of the same Body as the person who comes to him, and he is under the same Gospel. Even in the great era of the Optina elders, those who came were encouraged to go back to their own parish, receive communion, keep the fasts and live in their own families. The aim is not to attach people to a person but to bring them to Christ. Where a cult of personality forms, with followers who treat a priest as a replacement for the Church or compete over whose elder is greater, it is a sign that something has gone wrong, and the tradition has always said so.
You can begin simply. Attend the Divine Liturgy, pray with the Psalms, and listen to the Gospels in the Audio Bible so that you know the Word that every spiritual father serves. Then speak to the priest. A single honest conversation is often enough to find out whether the person in front of you can be a guide. A related topic is the way the Fathers read the scriptures, in How the Church Fathers read Scripture.
