Can Orthodox priests be married?
Yes. In the Orthodox Church a man may be ordained a deacon or a priest while married, and the great majority of parish clergy are. The marriage must come first: a man who wishes to marry should do so before ordination, and a man who is ordained unmarried remains unmarried or becomes a monk. The Council in Trullo (691-692) set this out in its sixth canon, which forbids subdeacons, deacons and priests to marry after ordination while allowing marriage before it.
The roots go back to the New Testament. The Gospels mention Peter's mother-in-law, whom Christ healed (Matthew 8:14 listen in the Audio Bible), and Paul asks whether the apostles do not have the right to take about a wife, as the other apostles and Peter do (1 Corinthians 9:5 listen in the Audio Bible). The pastoral letters require a bishop to be the husband of one wife (1 Timothy 3:2 listen in the Audio Bible) and a man who manages his household well, since a person who cannot manage his own family will not care for the Church (1 Timothy 3:4-5). The same is asked of presbyters (Titus 1:6 listen in the Audio Bible).
The Church has never treated marriage as a lesser path. It treats the clergy family as a school for the parish: a household in which, ideally, a congregation can see what a Christian home looks like.
What is a priest's wife called?
The English language has no single word, so each Orthodox tradition uses its own. In Russian she is matushka, which means "little mother". In Greek she is presbytera, from the word for an elder. In the Arabic-speaking Antiochian tradition she is khouria, in Serbian and other Balkan churches popadija, and in Ukrainian parishes forms such as panimatushka are used. A deacon's wife has the same title in Slavic churches, and in Greek parishes she is called diakonissa.
The custom in English-speaking parishes is to combine the title with her Christian name: "Matushka Mary" or "Presbytera Helena". Parishes tend to adopt the term of the majority ethnic background, and a convert parish may simply use the one its priest prefers. If you do not know which title to use, ask her or her husband; nobody minds the question.
The title is a mark of respect and of affection, not of rank. It acknowledges that the community is, in a sense, her family too, and that she has given up much of the privacy that most households take for granted.
Why must a priest marry before ordination, and why are bishops monastics?
The rule rests on ancient practice. Canon 6 of Trullo, mentioned above, forbids marrying after ordination, and the Church applies the same principle to the other end: a clergyman who is widowed does not normally remarry. Canon 3 of the same council treats a second marriage of the clergy as a ground for removal from office, although those who repent may remain in rank without exercising their functions.
Bishops are chosen from the celibate. Canon 48 of Trullo says that when a married man is made a bishop, he and his wife separate by mutual consent, and she enters a monastery at a distance from the bishop's residence; canon 12 forbids bishops to continue to live with their wives. In practice, the Orthodox Church now chooses its bishops from monks, and a widowed priest may be tonsured a monk before becoming a bishop. For the wider picture of how the Church's leadership is handed on, see apostolic succession explained.
None of this is a judgment against marriage. The Church honours both the monastic path (see why people become monks) and the married one, and the rule is a matter of discipline that has been kept for over a thousand years, rather than a dogma. Churches that have made different arrangements have done so on different historical grounds, and Orthodox Christians do not treat that as a matter for polemic.
Is the priest's wife a member of the clergy?
No. She receives no ordination and holds no clerical office. Her husband's priesthood does not become hers, and she cannot celebrate or absolve. In most parishes she does not carry any formal position either, although she may, like any parishioner, sing in the choir, teach in the church school or help in the kitchen.
Yet in practice a matushka often becomes a pastoral partner, in the sense that she shares the weight of the vocation. She answers the telephone and the door, welcomes visitors, and notices who is missing from church. She may know more of the parish than the priest, and a wise priest will listen to her. She also keeps what she knows to herself; a confession is the priest's secret, and she is as bound by discretion as anyone in the home of a doctor or a lawyer.
It is important not to turn her into an unpaid employee. She has her own faith, her own work and her own struggles, and many matushkas have professions, as teachers, nurses or musicians. The parish should expect of her what it expects of any member, and not more.
Examples from history and from today
The Church's memory contains many wives of clergy. Gregory the Theologian's father, Gregory the Elder, was a bishop of Nazianzus, and his mother, Nonna, is venerated as a saint; according to tradition she led her husband to the Christian faith. Among the new martyrs of Russia, whose story is told in the New Martyrs and Confessors of Russia, there were priests whose wives and children shared their arrests and exile.
One recent example is Matushka Olga of Kwethluk in Alaska, a Yup'ik woman who is remembered for her care of her community. The Orthodox Church in America announced her glorification as a saint, with services at Kwethluk in June 2025.
The Old Testament has a portrait of the good wife, whose worth is above jewels (Proverbs 31:10 listen in the Audio Bible). It is an apt description of the life of many clergy wives: unnoticed, diligent, a source of strength to the household.
What is life in a clergy family really like?
It combines the ordinary and the unusual. The priest is on call at any hour, and his family often arranges its life around services, weddings, funerals and emergencies. Holy Week and Pascha are the busiest days of the year, when the family may see little of the priest. Orthodox clergy are not paid on the scale of many professions, and in many places a priest works at another job as well.
Children of a clergy family grow up in the full view of the parish, which can be a blessing and a burden. They may be expected to behave perfectly, and a matushka may find that her housekeeping and her clothes become topics of conversation. Many clergy families also move to a new parish with little notice, leaving friends and schools.
A priest's marriage is meant to be an ordinary Christian marriage, with its own repentance and forgiveness. The Church does not expect perfection from clergy families, and parishioners who treat them as ordinary people are doing them a kindness.
How can a parish support its priest's family?
First, respect privacy. A priest's home is not an extension of the church hall, and a parishioner should telephone before visiting, avoid the late hours and not expect a pastoral conversation at the dinner table. Second, avoid gossip, which can wound a clergy family more than anything else. If you have a concern about the priest, speak to him directly or to the parish council, not to his wife.
Third, give practical help: a meal after a hard week, a lift to the airport, an offer to mind the children, a card on a name-day or an anniversary. A parish should also see that the priest is paid fairly and that he and his wife are given time off; a donation to the parish is one way to help, and the parish page on our website shows how.
Finally, learn what the parish life is like by taking part in it, which you can do with the guide to what to expect in an Orthodox parish. You can find the times of services on the liturgy page, and hear the Scriptures that the clergy read in the Audio Bible. If you have a personal question about marriage, vocation or the priesthood, speak to your priest.
